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Not All Fun and Games

© Christian R. Bonawandt

As of this past Thursday, the BOD are back. Kane made his return in the final moments of “Smackdown” after a week’s absence. He was tending a “broken arm,” which healed after, well, a week. Of course he’ll be in action next Monday, May 14 for “Raw.”

Also back in action, much to my chagrin, are the Right to Censor. I never should have mentioned their nonattendance at the weekly programs -- the day before I typed my last article they actually had appeared at the British pay-per-view, “Insurrection.” It figures. However, it seems their new angle has RTC searching for a new leader. How about searching for a new gimmick? Like, I don’t know, one that doesn’t suck. Trust me, WWF creative, it’s not Steven Richards that’s holding them back . . . it’s the whole freakin’ white-collar wrestler thing.

And while I’m speaking of things that suck -- X-Factor.

Seriously though, putting a bunch of crappy wrestlers together and saying they’re good doesn’t actually make them good. Just because X-Pac didn’t get any crowd reaction as a legman doesn’t mean he’ll get any as a leader. The main problem is not the gimmick; it’s the men!

While I’m speaking of men -- Chyna.

I really want to see Chyna bulk back up and beat the puss out of Jericho. She just isn’t any fun as a real woman. At least when she was in the men’s league you could make fun of the guys she almost pinned.

Even her rivalries are more effeminate. Look at this garbage with Lita! They don’t really hate each other. They congratulate and thank and praise each other after every match. This isn’t a rivalry; it’s a lesbo-erotic gimmick (not that I have a problem with lesbians . . .).

But getting to things that don’t suck this week:

Spike Dudley hitting on Molly Holly? Sounds like a swank rivalry. Between the Hollys and the Dudleyz, I mean. Throwing in a little love story between Spike and Molly will make it a bit West-Side-Story-ish. They haven’t had anything like that in a while.

As I mentioned in the discussion to last week’s article, Rikishi has been made a face once again. The heel gimmick wasn’t doing anything for him anyway. Not that I miss The Stinkface, but at least he’s coming out to his good music. Maybe after he’s done feuding with the McMahons he’ll help out Grand Master Sexay. Scotty 2 Hottie won’t be back for some time, according to the Ross Report, and the cheesy Blackman-Sexay team-up will only be funny so long (haven’t seen Blackman around lately either), just as the Snow-Blackman gimmick, a.k.a. Head Cheese gimmick, burned out after it stopped being funny.