Wild 'Wrestling Federation'

It's been a killer few weeks since "Wrestlemania." There are tons of very important issues I want to address, the most important of which is as follows: How totally gay is X-Pac's new music? It sounds like the Backstreet Boys wiped their asses with his old theme music. Did someone spill liquid suck on the demo? I'm sorry, but I can't take this silly X-Factor team seriously anymore. They've surpassed their suck quota for, like, their entire career.

Getting serious, we've seen the Intercontinental title belt change hands three times, from Jericho to Triple H to Jeff Hardy and back to Triple H! There was something fishy about having a main event on Monday, April 9's episode of "Raw" that included the Hardy Boyz but not Edge and Christian or the Dudleyz. And when they put up a tremendous fight against Austin and Triple H -- and won -- I knew that some major changes were going to take place.

Actually I found out that Jeff Hardy was going to take the belt from Triple H when I checked the most recent "Smackdown" preview online. Someone had mistakenly put on the homepage the banner with an image from the match that read "New Intercontinental Champion." I guess there's a job opening at WWF.com.

I think Test should be competing for that belt though. I like Jeff, but he has more mileage as a tag team and Test needs the push now, before he gets too old to compete with the big leagues. Come on, people! Test has the talent, he just needs that gimmick and push. Why does no one listen to me?

Don't expect to see the Rock hanging around asking what we smell. I have been ranting and raving since November about the filming of "The Scorpion King," but now all those months of cring wolf are over -- the man has taken a $5-million-dollar check and headed to California until June. Sorry, Rocky fans!

Kane is kind of boring as Hardcore champion.

Actually, it isn't true that no listens to me: Right to Censor is breaking up. God has heard my prayers. There was some dissension in the ranks on April 13's "Smackdown" that resulted in an all-out brawl between all the male members of RTC. Is this the end? Let's hope.

Chyna is very boring as Women's champion. Is Ivory going to be the only person she defends that belt against? Jacqueline would be more competition than stupid Ivory. Although referring to any of these broads as "women" is a stretch.

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