A Double Life: Raising Bilingual Children

Observing the fundamental principle of linguistic etiquette ("Don't speak a language in front of people who don't understand it") minimises the embarrassment potential of a bilingual upbringing. Generally, children accept that a private home is autonomous territory; they don't mind if someone is speaking another language indoors when they bring friends over. The yard, however, is "public," and should probably be a dominant-language zone. In any case, never, never open the door and start chewing out the child in the minority language in the presence of friends. (Berating a child in public is already a debatable practice; throw in a "weird" language, and you've crafted a genuine traumatic childhood memory.) Prodding the child to "speak Italian for Mr. Jones" is only a tad less destructive; if kids suspect that their bilingualism sets them apart, they will drop it like a hot rock. By the time they're old enough to understand its value, it will be too late. That's why bilingual children must be allowed to pass for unilingual in public, unless and until they decide to reveal otherwise.

The Internet is surely the greatest gift to bilingual families since movable type. With it, thousands of bilingual families worldwide can locate and purchase target language materials such as videos and story books, which serve the double purpose of building competency and assuring the children that their other tongue is indeed a "real" language. As the children grow, they can find pen pals in their other language as well. A host of resources seek to support bilingual families specifically, including the Bilingual Families Web Page, an online discussion board, and the Bi-fam mailing list. (Just click on the link and send an empty message for subscribing information. Failing that, the address is also available at the Bilingual Families Web Page.)

Bilingualism is a priceless gift, both for the child and the world he or she lives in. I wish all bilingual families the best of luck, and hope these resources help them to accomplish their goals.

This column originally appeared at Suite 101 World Languages, www.suite101.com/welcome.cfm/world_languages

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