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A Double Life: Raising Bilingual Children

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It's a cliché, but the world is in fact shrinking, at least in cultural terms. Increased travel, international business and education, elimination of obstructive immigration policies in Europe, and the Internet have all conspired to produce the highest rate of international marriage since World War II. But while the burning question fifty years ago was, "How can I ensure that my kids will be "all-Canadian" (or German, or Australian)?" raising bilingual children is often a greater concern for today's bicultural families.

The obvious challenge is overcoming the lack of support activities and materials in the nonlocal language; if kids don't encounter it at play or in TV, stories, and reading, their competency will suffer. But apart from such concrete concerns, children are also liable to develop a disdain for the "foreign" language unless parents have a proactive plan to internalise it. And once kids get it into their heads that the language is uncool, persuading them to learn and use it is like pulling teeth.

Parental solidarity is as fundamental to bilingualism as it is to study habits, table manners, or any other values parents wish to instil. If one parent is indifferent, chances are the kids will be, too. I'm reminded of a proud Panamanian-American I once met. As we conversed, she lamented her kids' utter refusal to speak Spanish with her, despite her best efforts. I asked her how well her husband spoke Spanish. "Oh, not at all," she confided. "He took a class, but he's just not interested." Frankly, it's hard for me to imagine a marriage in which one person can't communicate in the language of his or her heart. As the dominant-language half of a bilingual couple, I say, "You marry the language, you learn it."

The extended family also plays an important role. Urge grandparents, aunts, and uncles to speak the minority language while in your home. This may be difficult for some relatives, who may entertain certain myths about bilingualism. On the other hand, kids lucky enough to have such relationships often cherish a lifelong fondness for "Grandpa's language." (And on a sadder note, those who never learn it may regret the loss for just as long.)

Kids rebel against a family language if they have difficulty speaking it, or if they feel it sets them apart from their school chums. Making the minority tongue the household language from day one and maintaining this policy as the child grows seems to produce the most consistent results, though other strategies exist. Don't worry about dominant-language fluency; school will take care of that. (I once met an American raised in Tahiti. He had learned English at home, French in school, and Tahitian in the schoolyard, each with native fluency, without even realising it was happening.)

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