Home » Partners & Parents » Tips for Working Mothers » Latchkey Children

Latchkey Children

© Maureen Fleury

Many conversions I've had with other working mothers have turned to the subject of when to allow a child to stay home alone. It is an important decision to disconnect your child from daycare, but there is a way to prepare for this milestone.

There is no magic age as to when to do this, but most experts agree that age 12 seems to be acceptable. Of course, a lot depends on the maturity and personality of the child. You must remember that there is a lot of peer pressure and kids will want to be in the same position as their friends. They can be embarassed if all their friends are allowed to stay home and you have decided they still need daycare.

If you think that daycare is not necessary, but some type of supervision is required, you may want to check out after school programs. Maybe there are programs sponsored by community groups, schools or churches. High schools may have a buddy program where an older student "looks" in on your child. You may consider having a neighbour who serves as a check-in point and can be on-hand if your child has an emergency.

To make the latchkey system work, your child has to know the house rules. Tell them your expectations, such as:

doing homework

watching TV

allowable snacks

chores

allowing friends inside

who they can visit

where they are allowed to go

what to do in an emergency

check-in requirements

consequences for irresponsible behavior

Your child should know how to:

check your house for breakins before entering

lock up your house when leaving

perform basic first aid

get in touch with your emergency contacts

operate household appliances

answer the phone or the door

contact you (or your spouse)

As a parent, you have some responsibilities too. If you are going to be late coming home from work, be sure to inform your child. If you are not going to available by phone, make sure you have given them a number where you can be reached. If your you acting responsibly, you are reinforcing everything you've taught your children.

This is a very big step for parents and children. By preparing your child for this event, you will not be as nervous. As this becomes a family routine, don't forget to tell your thank your child for a job well done! They need to know you trust them and acknowledge their new-found responsibility.