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Without Words - Body Language, Number 4

© Sandra Linville

Euripides’ Medea despairs about Jason’s treason: "O Zeus, why have you given to men conclusive signs whether a coin is false, but in a man there is no mark by nature on his body by which to recognize the base one?"

Turn off the television's sound and watch how people say things. Can you tell much about what is being communicated? Can you tell if someone is lying by watching their body language and ignoring their words?

Author R. Don Steele thinks he can. In 1973, he watched John Mitchell, the Attorney General for the United States, testify at the Watergate trials. He believed Mitchell was lying, but nobody believed him. "One day," he said, "someone turned the volume down on the television to answer the phone. We kept watching the silent screen. With the sound off, we were all able to notice that time after time, Mitchell would touch his mouth or eye when responding, or close his eyes while, or just as he finished speaking. After he did that about three times, the entire group, especially me, screamed, 'He's lying! He's lying!'"

At that time, Steele was an intern with Nathaniel Branden as a Marriage, Family and Child Counselor and he studied, then taught body language to fellow interns. His later responsibilities included conducting Assertiveness Training for Singles and part of the program was The Body Language of Courtship. He helped women detect manipulative men and helped men recognize signals which showed when women were attracted to them.

His experience led to writing a book called Body Language Secrets, which he believes will "help you find, meet, talk with and date the right kind of person."

In this book, Steele draws attention to the body language in the chess scene from The Thomas Crown Affair and demonstrates what people are saying without words with descriptions and photos.

In another excerpt from the book, he writes about a sincere man. "When he's standing, his feet are slightly apart, firmly planted on the ground. He looks you in the eyes often. When he gestures, his palms are open and up. His arms are slightly extended…" The deceitful man (or women) will "clear his or her throat, fidget in the chair, touch his nose lightly, touch his mouth, tug his ear or rub his eye."

Romance is trying enough with honesty all around, but it is certainly easier if everyone involved is forthright. An impossible dream? Suite101.com's Romance topic writer, Michele KayD, writes more about the body language of relationships and romance so you can find more tips there.

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