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From Global to Personal: Spiritual Sexuality and Peace

© Alyssa Skye

From Global to Personal: Sexuality and Peace By Alyssa Skye Copyright 2001

With the events of the recent past so clear in our minds and hearts and with news of war facing us every way we turn, I have spent a lot of time thinking about peace: how to achieve it both globally and on a more personal level. As I was researching this question, I came across several articles explaining spiritual sexuality which holds as a foundation peace within oneself in order to achieve peace within sexual relationships.

Ina Laughing Winds, M.A., M.F.C.C, bases her workshops on the teachings of Chuluaqui Quodoushka Spiritual Sexuality. The premise behind these teachings is that an individual's spirit or soul constantly has lessons to learn and those lessons are often taught in the type of relationship that a person chooses. Ms. Laughing Winds believes that the most important lessons can be learned when a person lays aside blame and guilt and instead embraces a relationship by assuming responsibility and spiritual accountability for actions. Just as with worldwide affairs, we can either choose to repeat mistake after mistake in our relationships or we can choose to learn from those mistakes, to reap the benefits being taught to our spirit by each relationship we encounter.

She also lists five agreements that we can make with ourselves in each of our relationships. First of all, she states that encouraging blame or guilt, focusing on the past, and worrying about the future is one way to harm the sacred intimacy in each relationship. Harboring such negative energy not only harms the relationship, but it harms the spirits of both individuals within the couple.

The second agreement focuses on loving your partner just as they are without hopes or pressure that he or she will change to suit your needs. This agreement also encourages interdependence between lovers and the desire to see one another grow and be free, no matter how that makes us feel.

The third agreement asks each individual to let go of the past and explains that we cannot change what has occurred but we can work together to make sure that it doesn't happen again. We can learn from past mistakes, an important lesson for all of us.

The next agreement focuses on the act of forgiving each other past transgressions. It asks that partners be open sexually, willing to act adventurously, and not hold sexual limitations with your partner.

Finally, Ms. Laughing Winds discusses the Integrity Clause in the fifth agreement. This clause is based on health, hope, happiness, humor, and harmony, and is essential to the success of any relationship. In this agreement, each individual agrees to care for, share with, and teach the other. You are willing to let your partner experience his or her life fully without blame or guilt or shame and that you are willing to accept the consequences for your actions and decisions.

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