Most doctors and midwives recommend that a woman wait approximately six weeks after childbirth before resuming sexual intercourse. While this is the general rule of thumb, most practitioners will take into consideration your labor and delivery and will determine if your cervix has healed and your discharge has stopped.
Once you've been given the go-ahead medically, you may or may not be interested in sex. After all, intercourse takes energy and time, two things which are in short supply after baby is born, and the thought of yet another activity on top of endless feedings, diaper changes, and sleepless nights can be discouraging. This is completely normal. The most important thing to remember is to not pressure yourself or your partner.
Start slowly and gently. Many women are afraid that intercourse will be painful after giving birth. Due to hormonal changes which lowers vaginal lubrication, this often is the case. Should you experience pain with intercourse, several options may benefit you. Try a glass of wine (limit yourself to one if you are breastfeeding). This will help to relax you both physically and mentally. Also, make sure to use a sterile, water-soluble lubricant, such as K-Y Jelly or contraceptive cream. Different positions like side-to-side or woman-on-top allow control over the depth of penetration.
While these suggestions can lessen your soreness during intercourse, if you still are not ready to resume lovemaking, don't feel badly. This might be a good opportunity for your partner and yourself to connect on a deeper level through improved communication skills and other activities. Once the children are asleep, ask your partner for a relaxing massage. More times than not, this will progress to something more intimate. Touch and enjoy one another's bodies sensually without pressure. Explore each other like you did when you first fell in love and couldn't keep your hands off the other. Spice up your love life with oral sex and mutual masturbation.
Now that you have a baby in the house, your intimate moments won't be without interruptions and other obstacles. While you may treasure spontaneous sex, you and your partner might find that you need to schedule intercourse. Hire a baby-sitter and pencil the date in your calendar book. On the other hand, always be prepared for spontaneous intimacy. If the baby is napping while you're both at home, stop everything else and find an open space in the house.
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