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The Other Side of Sexuality

© Alyssa Skye

According to Webster's Dictionary, sexuality is an "involvement in sexual activity". However, ask today's woman how she defines sexuality, and she is likely to tell you that it encompasses much more than merely the physical act of sex or lovemaking.

As society in general, and women in particular, have emerged from the prudish constrictions of the Victorian way of thinking, communication about sexuality has expanded in countless forums throughout much of the world. It is no longer taboo to talk about reproductive organs, and the topic of sex is one of the biggest sellers when it comes to books and movies. Engage in an online search and even the most innocuous key word will bring up links to sex-oriented web sites.

During the previous generation, sex therapists would have been runout of town. Now they write books,host talk shows, and hold conferences. Human Sexuality 101 has become an elective course at numerous colleges, and web sites are hosted by organizations whose primary focus is the same (see http://www.sexuality.org/).

So what, beyond the physical, defines a woman's sexuality? As one woman from Southern California put it, "My sexuality is about the womanness of me. It is a combination of feeling sexy and looking sexy and acting sexy; it's about the enjoyment of myself and my body." In my research, I've found that this enjoyment of one's self is a central theme for all women discussing their sexual selves.

While orgasm seems to be widely praised as the ultimate form of enjoyment, it is by no means the only one. For many women, an emotional bond with a partner and the everyday expression of it are just as key to their satisfaction. Other women can find sexual pleasure in their own imaginations. In fact, one woman reported that her sexuality sparks her creative self with renewed energy. Perhaps the numerous web sites dedicated to expression of people's fantasies is indicative of this interchange between creativity and sexuality. "Web By Women For Women" at http://www.io.com/~wwwomen/ is one such site that offers free fantasies for women as well as empowering women's enjoyment of sexuality.

As we continue to emerge from the cloak of puritanism left over from previous decades, the possibilities for women's sexuality will grow and most likely be redefined time and time again, not only on a societal level, but for individuals as well. Stay tuned here as I follow this journey for all women in my articles to come.

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