Sex and Sexuality
Sexuality is about a presence of being. A knowing of oneself. What you like and why. How you like it. It does not mean that everything becomes about sex. However, it does mean that you are more in tune with your surroundings and people.
I think that a person's sexuality makes up a majority of who that person is emotionally and physically. I base this on studies, readings, and my common surroundings or discussions with friends. A lot of what we think about sex reflects in our thinking about relationships, politics, religion, and so forth.
Communication, whether you choose to do it with one or two people who are extremely close to you or a multitude of people that you meet, is very important in developing your own sexuality. Learning what your internal drives are and why you are the way you are can go a long way toward making you more comfortable with your own body, sex, and your own sexuality.
Expressing your desires to another person is just a piece of that process. I have found that most people I talk to are accepting of my sexuality as being just part of what makes me 'me'. I tend to talk about human sexuality a good bit with friends and acquaintances. I also tend to ask the opinions of those same friends and acquaintances when I come up on something new or interesting to me.
I broach the topic of books I am reading that appeal to a certain aspect of sexuality. Many acquaintances will tell me they've read something after I've commented on that particular book and that they really enjoyed it, but would never feel comfortable discussing it with even their partner or lover.
What is this that makes people feel comfortable discussing these things with me, but not those closest to them? I would imagine it is my comfort in discussing it. There is no judgement there for me. I do not care what direction your sexuality takes you. The other thing is that I do not matter in the long run. I am just 'someone' to talk to about it, not the person for whom these acquaintances share their life or bed.
However, I think we should be most desiring to share this basic intimate part of ourselves with our partners and lovers. If what we are afraid of is rejection, should we not then look to ourselves
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