PTSD and Co-dependency

Over the past months I have come to see that many women who have PTSD seem to have many of the symptoms of co-dependency as well. Is it possible that in recovery from co-dependency, one can also recover from PTSD?

The term Co-dependency began to emerge in the '80s. It usually referred to a person who had been raised in an unhealthy home, or who was living with an alcoholic. In his book "Healing the Child Within" Charles Whitfield gave his description of co-dependency:

"…ill health, maladaptive or problematic behavior that is associated with living with, working with or otherwise being close to a person with alcoholism (other chemical dependence or other chronic impairment). It affects not only individuals, but families, communities, businesses, and other institutions, even whole societies."

Dr. Whitfield went on to list some examples other than alcoholism (called "other chronic impairment in his description).

• Co-dependence
• Chronic mental and/or physical illness
• Extreme rigidity, punitive, judgmental, non-loving, perfectionistic, inadequacy
• Child abuse – physical, sexual, mental-emotional, spiritual
• Other conditions associated with post traumatic stress disorder

He also outlined 12 characteristics, (one or more being a sign of a dysfunctional home). A co-dependent person may come from this kind of a home:

• Neglectful
• Mistreating
• Inconsistent
• Unpredictable
• Arbitrary
• Denying
• Having one or more secrets
• Disallowing feelings
• Disallowing other needs
• Rigid (some families)
• Chaotic at times (including crisis orientation)
• Quiet and functional at times

Children, who come from these unhealthy families, will often grow up co-dependent and will seem to attract people similar to those in their families as partners and friends.

On the other hand, people do not necessarily become co-dependent due to coming from an unhealthy family of origin, they may have been raised in the best possible family environment, however became involved with a chemically dependent person (or someone with a chronic impairment). When this happens, the non-affected person may begin to develop symptoms of Co-dependency.

As stated in earlier articles about post traumatic stress disorder, not all people who face the same trauma will develop PTSD. It seems that those who have come from unhealthy homes, and who do not have good problem solving skills, lack healthy self-esteem, and are prone to depression, are more apt to develop PTSD, and the recovery will be longer. In speaking with many women over the months, diagnosed with PTSD, it seems the women who have been abused as children or as adults by their spouse or boyfriend suffer the most with the following list of symptoms of co-dependency. (Modified from Schaef (1986)

1. External referencing: distrusting own perceptions, lacking boundaries, believing one

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