I have a tendency toward all or nothing thinking. Last year at this time, I was getting very frustrated with the weather, raining and cloudy all the time. I find that the weather seems to really affect my moods, and the dreary, rainy weather tends to cause depression. This year the clouds and rain were beginning again, almost 2 weeks had passed without sun, and one day I woke up to a beautiful blue sky and nice warm weather. I opened the curtains, and went out to enjoy the summer weather. I wrote about it and made a mental photo. I also marked it on the calendar, and the day after was lovely as well. I now have the mental photo to call on, and dates on my calendar to dispute my mind saying "yep another summer of rain and clouds". Perhaps to many people this is a really corny example, but it is working on this and many other situations in my life.
Self-talk is one of the biggest ways to improve or lose one's self-esteem. If you constantly beat yourself up over things that happen or have happened in your life, you will be your own worst enemy. One of the most important things to remember is you can not change what you have done in the past, you can only try to change the pattern and try not to repeat the behavior in the future. Instead of saying "Cher, you are so stupid, why did you do that again?", try saying "Cher, hmmm, looks like that approach doesn't really work in our life anymore, why don't we figure out something new." Chances are, when you give a friend constructive criticism, you are as gentle and kind as you can be, so why not be that way with yourself. Positive self-talk also includes giving yourself frequent pats on the back for your efforts and steps forward in your recovery, too, instead of putting yourself down for the occasional back step.
