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I Don't Need A Man

© Nancy Coulter

"I don't need a man to rectify my existence. The most profound relationship we'll ever have is the one with ourselves."
- Shirley MacLaine

First of all, I have to give some history for the idea for this article. It came to me around 3am one morning. I was with a friend of mine, and we had many shots of various alcohol in our system. We both had horrible days and felt the need to unwind and try to make sense of the mess that we had been dealt. So, after a long night at work, we met up with Mr. Shot Glass and had a nice bitching and whining session about... what else? Men.

It wasn't one of those "I hate men" bitching sessions. Far from that, we both like men very much. I actually hate it when I hear anyone say "Men suck" or "Women suck", because I think it's safe to say that each gender has their faults and no one is perfect. We just came to the realization that we had very bad luck in choosing the right men.

Her situation was that she had a husband who, at the age of 31, decided that he needed to "find himself". Which meant leaving her and their 2 year old child and going to live on his own for a while. My situation wasn't as serious. It just involves a long string of guys who always have a knack for having some major character flaw that I can't deal with (minor ones, I'm fine with - it's those major ones that throw me for a loop).

It amazed me that it has taken so long to realize I don't need a man in my life. I would like one in my life - or should I say, I would like someone in my life so that I can share experiences with that person. But I don't need a man to be there to hold my hand all the way.

Many women, including myself, grew up believing that one day we'd find a man, marry him and spend the rest of our life with him. When I was 5 years old, I wasn't really sure why I needed a man in my life, all I knew is that it was fun to "play" wedding/marriage with my little girl friends. We all daydreamed about our wedding and being married to that perfect man and basically being his servant.