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Jumping Into Marriage


© Nancy Coulter

I'm a single 20-something female. This past summer I watched friends get married and engaged. That's a big thing for people in my demographic group. This is the time in many people's lives when they make the choice to spend the rest of their life with one other person. As wonderful and as beautiful as marriage can be, I'm beginning to get a little worried about people making the choice to get married.

Why worry? Well more and more I hear girls saying that they are getting married because it seems like the thing to do. "Everybody else is getting married, so we figured we should!"

BWAH???

I really hope that I'm not the only person who gets seriously worried about people when they make those sorts of statements.

Marriage isn't something to just do because everyone else is doing. We aren't talking about a fashion fade or dying your hair electric blue or piercing your nose. Marriage is for the rest of your life, and needs to be something that you seriously think about before you jump into. I'm not saying that you have to be dating for a certain amount of time, but your reasoning behind marriage shouldn't be because your best friend is also getting married.

I am the sort of person who is open to people doing what they want to do. Personally, I wouldn't want to get married at a young age. However, that's just how I am and I'm not expecting anyone to lead their life based on my beliefs or morals. It does scare me to watch people get married at very young ages, but if they know what they are getting into and know that it is forever, then I think they can be ok. It's the people who get married because "everyone else is doing it" who worry me.

What it all comes down to are women with low self-esteem who think they need to get married since everyone else is. Of course, men could be in the same situation but my focus is on the women who feel this need. Women are notorious for believing that they need a man to complete their being. As if a woman cannot go through life, unless she has a man with her. Lifelong companionship is a wonderful and beautiful thing that most human beings desire and search tenaciously for. It shouldn't be seen as a way to get by in the world because you can't live on your own or because all of your other friends are finding their lifemates. We all have our own timeframes for our lives that are unique from even our closest of friends. We can't and we shouldn't think that our lives need to follow some set path that is in accordance with what everyone else is doing with their lives.

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Here's the follow-up discussion on this article: View all related messages

2.   Sep 11, 2000 10:18 AM
I am one of these teenagers that is getting Real sick of Girls and women saying "I NEED to get a boyfriend" I tell them that they don't need a boyfriend. For me, I don't need a man to be happy, and t ...

-- posted by QuartzNH


1.   Sep 8, 2000 6:48 PM
"Marriage isn't something to just do because everyone else is doing." RIGHT! Tell the women, tell the men! Not only is it a matter of some women thinking they need a man to complete their be ...

-- posted by Dan_Ellsworth





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