Always The Bridesmaid...


© Nancy Coulter
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November 6th is the day that one of my best friends from high school will be getting married (she's the one on the right in the picture up in the corner).

She will be the first of my close friends to get married. Ever since I heard the news on the phone, I've felt a new sense of "OH MY GOD, I'M SINGLE!" panic.

So far, I've only had to watch other friends deal with going to weddings and finding a date because they are single. I haven't had that wonderful joy of seeing two people join in marriage, knowing that I'm one of those single "maids" that were chosen to stand behind the bride. However, going by age and marital status of most of my friends, I have a feeling that I'll be dealing with this much more often. At least for the next few years. So I've decided to look at it differently, and not be a cynic about it.

Technically, I'm not a bridesmaid in this wedding. From what I know, it's a small wedding and she's just having her sister stand with her. So I'll just be sitting there, enjoying the moment with my date of the moment. Not too bad.

I won't have to worry about her picking some dreadful bridesmaid dress and I won't have to worry about walking down the isle with some friend of the groom's. Nor will I feel obligated to throw a big shower for her, and I don't have to worry about helping plan a bachelorette party. I'm not taking off multiple days of work so that I can be there for all the wedding festivities. Plus, I don't have to act as a mediator between the bride and her mother as they argue over who knows best about the wedding "how to's".

I do truly look forward to the day when I can be a bridesmaid or maid of honor for a girlfriend. Growing up, it's something that little girls talk about all the time. We always had our weddings planned out to the smallest details. Little did we know how much things would change when we got older. The one thing that doesn't change is that bond between close girlfriends. To have the chance to stand up with one of your best friends and watch her through one of the most important days of her life, is perhaps the biggest honor you can have as a girlfriend.

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Here's the follow-up discussion on this article: View all related messages

2.   Nov 11, 1999 10:38 PM
thanks terrie. every once in a while i try to toss out a few gems of advice :) hopefully people will take something good from them!

my mom and i often talk about how different things are for me, th ...


-- posted by Nancy_Coulter


1.   Nov 11, 1999 8:48 AM
I married in 1980, and I can tell you that marriage is far too hard to just to settle. I've known people who do, and they are now settling for divorce. Marriage is magnificent, but it's not a game or ...

-- posted by Terrie_Bittner





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