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What Superwoman???


© Nancy Coulter

Ever since the dawning of the feminist movement, a woman's role in society has been constantly changing. Not only that, it has also been under constant scrutiny. Whether you think women should be more or less "liberated", the pendulum has been moving back and forth. Sometimes it is hard to keep up with the changes. Fortunately, that pendulum seems to be slowing down and perhaps we are getting closer to a happy medium for the feminist movement.

To me, the 90's were filled with talk about women trying to be Superwomen. The Superwoman notion meant that women were responsible for multiple roles in their lives. Mother, wife, daughter, friend, and worker - all in one. If a woman didn't try to take on all those roles, then some viewed her as a sort of failure to the women's movement. It was as if a woman was letting down her fellow woman by not trying to do everything. Those of us who tried to do everything and have it all, sometimes learned that it's not always possible for that to happen.

Fortunately, as time has gone on, it seems that we have become more accepting of the fact that women don't have to do it all - just enough so that they are ok with their lives. Married women have learned to share their household roles with their husbands (just as their husbands have learned to share with them). Parenting is now becoming a job that is shared equally by mother and father. The idea that mothers are the only ones who can be good parents, is one that is being shattered by those men who choose to stay home with the children.

Women are also coming to terms with the fact that they do not have to fill every woman's role to be a good woman. We can work full time and have a successful career, without ever thinking about motherhood, and still be successful as a woman. Mothers can spend their entire adult lives raising their children, and that makes them no less a "superwoman" than the woman who works and raises her kids.

While most of us have focused on the roles that women play in relation to their job or their children, it can't be forgotten about the roles that women have in relation to their friends and other family members. For many women, myself included, their close friends can be like their family. In the hussle of day to day life, it often happens that your friends are forgotten about because you are too busy with other obligations. This is just one example of how we can get so caught up in one role, that our others are neglected. Fortunately, good friends and family understand the demands that we can be under and they are accepting of the occasional negligence. Employers and young children sometimes aren't as understanding.

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Here's the follow-up discussion on this article: View all related messages

2.   Oct 16, 1999 10:01 PM
i worry about that with my mother. she recently took on a promotion at her job which is great for her career, but extremely stressful also. you would think that she would slow down with other things.. ...

-- posted by Nancy_Coulter


1.   Oct 6, 1999 12:58 PM
I have met a good many women online who are now chronically ill or disabled in some way. Typically this seems to come in their 40s or 50s though it hits some earlier. Their story is always the same, ...

-- posted by annej





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