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My Breasts - My Poison: Part 5

© Kathern Welsh

Financial Ruin...

One thing I was finally forced to do as a result of all this, was to file bankruptcy in 1991. I tried to go with a Chapter 13 first, but just a few months after it was initiated, I lost the job on which the repayment terms had been based, and therefore was unable to make the required payments. As a result, I had no choice but to go into a bankruptcy. The huge medical bills were just too numerous and impossible to keep up with.

To top it all off, the last two hospitalizations occurred after the bankruptcy had been filed, so now my new husband and I have more large bills.

The worst part of all this has been feeling so bad physically and not being able to find a reason. I, as well as others, have been told it's all in our heads, or we're just hypochondriacs. At times, I've just wanted to end it all. During one extremely difficult period, I had even prayed to God to not let me wake up in the morning. Each morning that I opened my eyes during that depressing time, I would cry, "Oh, no - I'm still here! I just can't face another day!"

Missed Happenings...

I've missed the graduations and marriages of my nieces and nephews, as well as many other important, or just fun events, due to these illnesses. I know my family and friends used to think I was just putting on an act, or else was a real hypochondriac. At times I know they thought I just wanted sympathy.

Those impressions are all false. I want nothing more than to be able to feel normal, and to be able to plan activities and then to participate in them.

I have tried a number of natural remedies over the past few years and many of them have helped tremendously for a limited period. After a period of time however, they seem to lose their effect on me and I have to search for something else. I guess I have finally run out of options although I sincerely feel that the natural remedies and supplements over the years have enabled me to keep going longer than most.

A Final Attack...? ? ?

On Wednesday, September 20, 1995, I left work with severe pressure and pain in my chest, which had persisted for four days. My arms were extremely heavy and with a pounding head and severe fatigue, I was determined to find a doctor the next day. My department manager and supervisor were extremely kind and supportive.

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