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A College Girl at Heart

© Anne Paxton

I've always been a college girl at heart and I always will be. I don't miss the pop quizzes, the midterms, the droning professors or my old crazy dorm mate with the shifty eyes. What I miss is the culture of college. I miss the all night talkathons with my best friend, watching movies in the college break room, and going out on Friday night with my friends. But most of all, I miss my college clothes.

A typical fashion ensemble for me was jeans, a college t-shirt and my Reeboks. I'd throw these things on as I tried to make my 10AM history class. I'd sling my backpack over my shoulder; sunglasses in one hand and a soda (my breakfast) in the other and I would be out the door. I don't think I have ever been more comfortable in my life than when I was in college. In high school I was always trying to look hip without trying to look hip. You know what I mean. I always tried to be myself in high school, but I did what I could not to be singled out for not being "with it" as far as fashion went.

Now I work in an office where a certain dress code is required. It is pretty relaxed, but Reeboks really wouldn't fly here either. For me jeans were the best invention ever made. Jeans come in all shapes in sizes-let me correct myself-Jeans come for all shapes in sizes. College was where I learned how important comfort is to your sense of self. In college clothes matter very little, at least at the school I went to. With a student population in the thousands one has the opportunity to escape into your own personal world. Whether I showed up to class in sweats and a T-shirt or a skirt and a blouse it didn't matter. In college I really learned what it was to live my own life away from everyone else. My hair, my clothes, my car did not matter to anyone. The only thing that mattered was how far I wanted to go in my education and my intelligence. It was a great relief to have those four years to figure out who I wanted to be.

Since then there have been moments where I missed that old safe feeling of college. I know I can't go back, but I miss it just the same. So whenever I am feeling blue, I just pull on my old pair of jeans, put on that college T-shirt and remember those early mornings before class. And in that moment I find that college girl in me again and I find that peace I have been looking for.

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