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One Minute for Yourself

© Geraldine Wagner

A few years ago at a women's twelve step retreat, I was given a handout called "One Minute for Myself." I don't know who wrote it or if it was taken from a larger text. But I'd like to share the concepts with you, because that one minute that I take for myself and that you take for yourself can make all the difference in the world how the rest of the day will go.

In one minute, I can change my attitude. We know how swiftly we can pass judgment on a person or a situation. Indeed, it only takes a moment for anger to make us see red, or for words to fly from our mouths. Can the opposite happen? Can I observe something that melts my heart as quickly? Certainly we've all experienced that moment when the wind is taken right out of our sails. Someone gives us a hug when we least expect it. Or, they say, "I'm sorry" at just the right time. It only takes a minute.

And in that minute, I can change my entire day. Who among us doesn't recall how an argument or bad incident with another person can color the rest of our day? When you've had an argument with a child or a significant other in the morning, how interested are you in going to work, in doing some of the other things you had planned? Suddenly, the interest in these other things pales and the bad incident looms in our minds. But when things are going smoothly, when I've forgiven a slight or made up with someone I've been arguing with, how light and buoyant I can feel for the rest of the day!

Other maxims that go along with One Minute for Myself include the old standbys: I treat myself the way I would like others to treat me...with kindness, respect and honesty. I don't berate myself for something that I'm not proud of or that I wish I'd handled differently. Instead, I look for a way to make amends, to begin again. The few minutes I take thinking of how to handle the situation so it becomes a win-win situation are minutes for myself...when I grow as a person, I grow spiritually and emotionally. I realize I have the answer within me. I am quiet and listen to the wisdom of my "Best Self."

And finally, before I can take good care of anything or anyone, I must first take good care of myself. When I love myself and treat myself with honesty, respect and kindness, it is easy to translate that goodness to others. Similarly, if I am unkind to myself, unloving and hateful, I can be nothing but that toward others. I give to myself and I receive from myself. I am happier. And because I am happier, I can be good to others.

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