Self-Improvement through Self-Evaluation

Self improvement means self evaluation. If you do not evaluate your past experiences, you will end up making the same mistakes and getting in to the same rotten situations over and over again. Realizing what you do not want is just as important as knowing what you want. From personal experience, I know that it is very easy to get into a rut, relationship wise. You may think there is something wrong with you because your relationships keep failing. This can lead to desperate behavior that tends to attract the WRONG kind of partner. Don't be willing to give up who you are, what you believe and those you love just to have an intimate relationship. In unhealthy relationships, a partner may attempt to change or eliminate characteristics and behaviors that they originally say attracted them to you. This type of behavior is called Counterdependent.

Counterdependent - overemphasizes strengths

A. Counterdependent Traits

1. Grandiose - must be more than others and cannot be equal to or less than others
2. Independent - must rely only on self and cannot rely on others
3. Self-centered - must focus on self and not on others
4. Intrusive - must control self and others

This aspect of self improvement is the most important because you must learn to keep yourself safe. According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics Crime and Victim Statistics, 198,800 women are violently assaulted by their boyfriends each year. Now these are the numbers reported, I shutter to think of the number that goes unreported each year. Husbands violently assault 625,800 wives each year again these are the ones that are reported. I cannot stress to you enough the importance of keeping yourself safe. When you find yourself in a relationship with someone who is verbally, emotionally or physically abusive, you have to love yourself enough to get out. There is NEVER an excuse to be abused.

Let me tell you this: "I was/am jealous", "What will I do when your not home," "I never get to see you anymore," and "I don't want to share you with your friends" are merely methods of control. Anytime you are with someone who doubts your character, you are with the wrong person. If you have to be anything other than yourself in order to get along with someone, you are with the wrong person. If you are the only one who thinks that your signification other is a wonderful, charming and good moral person, you are probably in a dangerous and most likely manipulative situation. When a man or woman

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