The summer I turned sixteen also coincided with my first real boyfriend, the one who picked me up for dates rather than relying on parents for transportation, and who saw past my glasses and newly removed braces, not to mention my small town adolescent isolation of being both smart and artistically inclined. He called me "Beautiful" (a pet name which continued until our graduation), and the memories of our three month relationship are warm, whimsical and terribly nostalgic. The only mar on this otherwise flawless surface (with the exception of my temporarily broken heart) was his insistence that my male friends were simply suitor wannabes. My initial reaction to his matter of fact announcement had been a stunned denial, followed by a subtle repugnance as I considered the possibility of sweaty palms and unsure kisses with any of the males in question, and continued with an ambivalence that terminated in an acknowledgment that, although sweet, he was completely deluded!
Only once in my life has a man who I believed to be my friend declared his intentions as other than platonic. We had known one another for years, and his disclosure, on the heels of the recent termination of my long term relationship, left me feeling confused and somewhat betrayed. After all, we had shared confidences and vulnerabilities, and his attempt at cinematic romance colored my perception of his previous intentions. Was he being my friend in an attempt to win my heart all these years? Needless to say, our friendship did not survive, but more because he disappeared (probably from embarrassment) and I did nothing to pursue him than from my inability to trust him again.
Innumerable situations have left me the singular woman in a group, which probably raises more eyebrows from observers than the participants themselves. Their thoughts run from "is she someone's gf/wife/significant other?" to "what kind of needy attention seeking woman is she?", neither of which is true. The truth, if there is one, is that I tend to enjoy many of the same interests as men. I am not attracted to discussions surrounding kids, PTA or domesticity, and rather like putting my feet on the coffee table and sipping a beer while watching major league baseball. The women I keep in close confidence, mind you, are much the same way.
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