Originally, surnames were invented to solidify inheritance, increase tax revenue and control various ethnic groups. Women had no choice but to adopt their husband's surname, because, according to British and American common law, marriage stripped them of their rights to own property, enter into contracts or sue another party. Approximately 150 years ago, these laws began disappearing, but as late as the 1970's, some states still prohibited women from keeping their birth names after marriage. Fortunately, the legal battles are over, but how many women are actually utilizing this option? According to American Demographics magazine, as late as 1994, ninety percent of women were still adopting their husbands' last name. In fact, only two percent of women were choosing to keep their birth names as their sole surnames, with the other eight percent either hyphenating, using their birth names as a middle name, or some other alternative. So, despite women's pleas of independence, the great majority are still conceding to tradition on this one issue.
The reasons women give vary from "It's not that important to me.", "It'll be easier for the kids if we all have the same name.", "I don't really like my last name.", to "Hyphenated names are so cumbersome." Regardless of the excuse, the fact is, many otherwise strong and autonomous women are choosing to part with a portion of their identity in order to fulfill society's expectation that they procure a husband. A woman I have known since childhood elected to adopt her second husband's name after her first marriage, in which she kept her birth name, ended in divorce. When I inquired about this change in attitude, her response was a simple "I want it to be different this time." Different, I wondered, for who?
As with so many issues regarding the wedding, marriage and subsequent family life, a woman faces many pressures from friends, family, and society at large to follow the path of least resistence, the much trodden road of generations before. The decision to maintain a birth name is not a sign of disrespect to her new in-laws, nor is it a symbol of radical feminist philosophy. It is a way of honoring your spouse and yourself by promising to remain the strong and quirky woman you both love.
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