Are You An Adult Child Of An Alcoholic?

Like many, aside from wondering if you are an alcoholic, you may question whether you are an adult child of an alcoholic. Alcoholism is such a prevalent disease, that I would feel safe in assuming that there is at least one alcoholic in every family. I can speak freely for my family and attest to that. My grandmother was an alcoholic and died from sclerosis of the liver. My mother is a recovering alcoholic and around this time last year she almost died from sclerosis of the liver. I too am a recovering alcoholic, and thankfully at this point I have not sustained any major health problems associated with alcoholism.

I'm my mother's baby and I came along fourteen years after my older sister Georgia. By the time I was coherently aware of my surroundings, my older siblings were scattered around the globe. My brother was in Ohio at college; my eldest sister was in Hong Kong in the Navy, Georgia my sister was on a bus tour of the U.S.

Childhood memories that have shaped my life and livelihood are bittersweet. From the age of eight to sixteen, I worried which one of my siblings or I would become the alcoholic in the family. I remember living in constant fear of someone finding out my mother was an alcoholic. Little did I know at the time that everyone knew of her problem, but chose to look the other way.

I was the little woman of the house. I learned to cook at a young age out of necessity, I knew how to budget, pay bills, wash and iron clothes, clean house, lie like the best of them, and be a nurse. I was so full of the childish desire to please and make everything right that I became my mother's caretaker. Looking back on those childhood experiences has helped me realize some of the characteristics of an adult child of an alcoholic.

People Pleasers
People pleasers are those persons that have lost all touch with or have never developed their own personality and are so fearful of attack, choose to go with the flow rather than be an individual. People pleasers live isolated lives and are uncomfortable around others.

Become Alcoholics Themselves
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em! Many adult children of alcoholics develop a defeatist attitude regarding alcoholism, or become an alcoholic to satisfy an unhealthy need for abandonment.

Have an Overdeveloped Sense of Responsibility
Failing to help his or her parent, this adult child may try to make up by attempting to help everyone. Or in my case, helping others prevented me from focusing too much attention on myself. This type let others play the aggressive role, while they contentedly assume the passive role.