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Up The River!

© Jo Murphy

There is no substitute for a real life meeting. I have put off a discussion of step one until we have looked at a very important issue. The Internet itself can become quite addictive.

Many people it seems become addicted to

• the impersonal nature of the medium,
• the immediacy of response
• the possibility of a secret style of communication
• the type of subject matter that can be accessed
1. gambling
2. pornography
3. time wasting
4. relationship escapee-ism
5. shopping addiction
These are just some of the problems that have been noted on a growing scale.

Employers it seems are increasingly demanding the right to be able to read employee emails and the right to track where surfers have been whilst at work. It seems that as the internet develops problems are escalating too!

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I have come to believe that it is extremely unwise to allow internet interaction become a substitute for real life fellowship, meetings and commitment. These are the reasons why I say this.

• Fellowship is about commitment.
• Turning up to meetings, job sharing, putting oneself out and going to any length not only to achieve recovery but to do service work and to help others attain sobriety or relief from addiction.
• Fellowship is about learning how to have relationships. This it seems is very risky when attempted online. Online relationships do not have the attributes of authenticity that real life relationships do. People damaged by life are in need of gentle nurturance in the area of affection. Many need to be persuaded in the area of boundary setting - it would be difficult to provide these learning experiences online.
• Fellowship is about learning how to make amends appropriately. This should happen with real people in real life. Facing a person 'eyeball to eyeball' has a different quality when it is achieved in an authentic setting.
• Fellowship is about sharing truth with another human and other human beings in genuine but protected ways.
• Fellowship is about contribution, paying bills, learning how to become fully self sufficient and not 'free loading' in any way.
• Fellowship is about intimacy. This human phenomenon can have a kind of unreal and inauthentic feel when it is attempted online

I have felt for some time that it appears that I encourage people to use the internet as a way of dodging meetings. It is the commitment meetings require that assist their therapeutic nature. I feel that any one who thinks they are working the 'programme' but has never been to a real meeting, may be missing out on the essential elements of the fellowship! I do not under any circumstances want to be the cause of this happening! This concern has caused me to be emphatic in public about the dilemma.

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