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The Silence Behind Women Abuse

© Moira Richards

The abuse of women is so much a part of our lives that it is often not even recognised as such. Frequently regarded as a 'Women's Issue', it is actually a societal problem that affects not only women and girls, but also their fathers, brothers and husbands in many different ways too.

Women Abuse takes many forms. The overt manifestations are acts such as rape and physical attack, even murder, and maybe we all know of at least one woman who has suffered one of these. More subtle are things like stalking or sexual harassment in the workplace. Is that man *really* following you around or are you just being paranoid? Is the boss just being friendly when he cuddles up to you at work, or are you being a prude?

If any behaviour makes you feel uncomfortable, then it is unacceptable. But chances are that if you object, then the abuser will turn the situation into something that makes *you* look ridiculous. This is one of the main problems about Women Abuse - the conspiracy of silence that muffles it.

Women are far too often dissuaded from speaking out against the violations perpetrated against them. The beaten wife does not lay charges because hubby has (once again) begged forgiveness, with tears in his eyes.

The raped woman does not report the crime because the distress of a public trial will just compound the trauma that she has already suffered.

The junior secretary would rather look for another job because who would believe her word against that of Mr Big Boss?

Women are silenced too by the fact that so many forms of abuse are considered acceptable because tradition has grown around it. A woman who escapes FGM is not merely protecting her body; she is refuting the whole culture of the society in which she has grown up.

It is only recently that rape has been declared a war crime - it has forever, been considered one of the rightfully earned rewards of the victorious soldiers, that they help themselves to the bodies of the womenfolk of the conquered nation.

And how many people consider it a man's right to force himself sexually upon his wife? Too few people realize that if Wife says NO, but Hubby chooses to hear YES, then he has RAPED her. The issue of Women Abuse is also weakened by the way it is, so often, subjected to a 'divide and rule' treatment.