A safety plan is always designed for people who are in an abusive relationship, but what about those who left and are still being harassed and abused? Sometimes for many, the abuse never goes away.
The abuser still lurks around like a “Peeping Tom.” They will show up where they don’t belong and if children are involved, the woman still has to associate with the abuser.
How does a woman overcome the abuse? How does she gain back the emotional strength she lost due to the abuse she endured? How does she now deal with the abuser even after she left the relationship?
To help establish whether or not you are still threatened by your abuser or whether or not the abuser still has control over your emotions, carefully answer the questions below. If you answered yes to one of the questions, you may still be experiencing abuse: mental, emotional, and verbal abuse.
The abuser still lurks around like a “Peeping Tom.” They will show up where they don’t belong and if children are involved, the woman still has to associate with the abuser.
How does a woman overcome the abuse? How does she gain back the emotional strength she lost due to the abuse she endured? How does she now deal with the abuser even after she left the relationship?
To help establish whether or not you are still threatened by your abuser or whether or not the abuser still has control over your emotions, carefully answer the questions below. If you answered yes to one of the questions, you may still be experiencing abuse: mental, emotional, and verbal abuse.
- Do you feel anxious when your ex partner is located around you? For example, having to pick up the children.
- Does your safety still feel threatened?
- Do you find yourself agreeing with your ex partner, changing your beliefs and opinions in order to make peace and avoid confrontation?
- Do you feel unsafe in your own home?
A one-way-ticket to freedom is to get your power and control back: the power and control of oneself. Many women experience physical and psychological problems after they leave an abusive relationship. Some receive the help of counseling while others try to help themselves on their own with no support from family or friends.
Safety Plan for the Children:
- If necessary have someone at your house when your ex-husband is picking up the kids. If this is impossible let a neighbor know (have them simply look through their window) when he arrives. If you know for sure that your ex is picking up the kids (or the appropriate person), watch the kids go to the car from the door. Walking out with the kids, gives the abuser leverage to start something. Wave to the kids, smile, and watch them leave safely. If he has visitation rights and he is picking them up, then obviously it is ok not to go to the car.
- Get your children cell phones. This is so they can call you and you don’t have to worry about “him” answering the phone and dealing with confrontation. Plus, this will help your kids if they need help in case of an emergency. Today, there are great deals with cell phones. We now can buy two for the price of one and we can easily know who is calling us by the sound of a ring.
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