In sickness and in health, 'til death do us part. These vows keep women from leaving their abusive relationships.
These vows are misunderstood. People take these vows to their grave. Statements such as, "but, they made vows before God." or "she is just standing by her vows" are used to justify why a women should stay with an abusive husband. So what!
What people don't get is that abuse is not a sickness. Abuse is learned behavior. Abuse is about power and control. Nowhere in marriage vows does anyone say, "In sickness and in health until I beat you to a pulp."
Lets evaulate the definition of abuse, sickness and health:
According to Webster's Dictionary abuse means to hurt by treating wrongly; injure, to abuse friendship. It means mistreatment, cruelty, violence, and neglect.
Sickness means illness, disease, virus, and bug.
Health means physical condition, wellbeing, healthiness, and strength.
Alcoholism is a disease. Alcohol can trigger abuse, but is not the cause of abuse. If a person were to become a recovering alcoholic and they bettered themselves, great. However, if that person stops drinking, but continues to be manipulative, judgmental, lies, cheats, and controls - well, this person is an abusive person.
Some believe that alcoholism is not the cause of domestic violence. Alcoholics are self-abusive, but not always abusive towards others. Not every alcoholic is abusive.
If a loved one were to develop cancer, diabetes, or lose a leg or arm, in sickness and in health applies here. Granted, a lot of people have mental illnesses in which is a form of a sickness or disease, but it has been stated time and time again that a person's mental illness is not the cause of their abusive behavior towards others.
Although we exchanged our vows before God, when dealing with an abusive partner, the vows were, in fact, based on a lie. Dealing with charmers, manipulators, cheats, and abusers, the vows were never truly honored by the abuser. The vows we exchange does state: Will you love her, honor her, comfort her, and keep her in sickness and in health; forsaking all others, be true to her as long as you both shall live?
These vows are misunderstood. People take these vows to their grave. Statements such as, "but, they made vows before God." or "she is just standing by her vows" are used to justify why a women should stay with an abusive husband. So what!
What people don't get is that abuse is not a sickness. Abuse is learned behavior. Abuse is about power and control. Nowhere in marriage vows does anyone say, "In sickness and in health until I beat you to a pulp."
Lets evaulate the definition of abuse, sickness and health:
According to Webster's Dictionary abuse means to hurt by treating wrongly; injure, to abuse friendship. It means mistreatment, cruelty, violence, and neglect.
Sickness means illness, disease, virus, and bug.
Health means physical condition, wellbeing, healthiness, and strength.
Alcoholism is a disease. Alcohol can trigger abuse, but is not the cause of abuse. If a person were to become a recovering alcoholic and they bettered themselves, great. However, if that person stops drinking, but continues to be manipulative, judgmental, lies, cheats, and controls - well, this person is an abusive person.
Some believe that alcoholism is not the cause of domestic violence. Alcoholics are self-abusive, but not always abusive towards others. Not every alcoholic is abusive.
If a loved one were to develop cancer, diabetes, or lose a leg or arm, in sickness and in health applies here. Granted, a lot of people have mental illnesses in which is a form of a sickness or disease, but it has been stated time and time again that a person's mental illness is not the cause of their abusive behavior towards others.
Although we exchanged our vows before God, when dealing with an abusive partner, the vows were, in fact, based on a lie. Dealing with charmers, manipulators, cheats, and abusers, the vows were never truly honored by the abuser. The vows we exchange does state: Will you love her, honor her, comfort her, and keep her in sickness and in health; forsaking all others, be true to her as long as you both shall live?
People will use their vows as an "excuse" to stay. People will use vows to sugarcoat their family members abusive relationships. Society must educate themselves about abusive relationships, domestic violence, and other forms of abuse.
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