Why Women Won't Leave Their Abusers


Abusers are First Class Manipulators. They seek their prey and they attack them with their poisonous charm. They will tell them things like, no one could love you as much as I do, I’d never leave you, I’d never do anything to hurt you, and you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.

As time goes on, their love becomes suffocating and the victim cannot breathe. When someone comments, “I would never let that happen to me,” it is so unrealistic. Nobody knows it is happening at the time and before they know it they are sucked into their partners misery.

As far as, “why don’t she just leave,” there are several reasons why she doesn’t leave:
  1. Women stay because they are afraid of the system.
  2. The most dangerous time in a violent relationship is when the victim attempts to leave.
  3. A lot of men “promise” that they are going to change and that “this” will be the last beating.
  4. Fear of losing the children.
  5. Economic Dependence: A lot of women are stay at home moms therefore they don’t have independent income.
  6. They have gained low self-esteem and they are severely depressed.
  7. Religious beliefs: “In sickness and in Health.”
  8. She still loves him and believes that she could “save” him.
  9. Believes that she doesn’t deserve to be loved.
  10. Environmental: her mother may have been beaten by her father and accepts this behavior to be natural.
  11. Investment: if she is married, she might own a home with her husband, cars, savings, and there might be children involved.
  12. Cycle: she may have been abused as a child and accepts that this is normal.
  13. Failure: a lot of women believe that an end to a relationship or marriage means that they failed. There are several things that victims need to hear: I believe you, your fear is real, what is happening to you is wrong, it was not your fault, you are not a failure, you deserve to be happy and healthy, I will help you, and I love you.
Leaving an abusive situation isn’t easy. It takes time and the victim first has to admit to herself that something is wrong. In time when she realizes that something is wrong, she will build strength and courage and she will leave.
The copyright of the article Why Women Won't Leave Their Abusers in Abuse Against Women is owned by Teresa Brouwer. Permission to republish Why Women Won't Leave Their Abusers in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

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