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Grackles In The Garage

© Sharon Wren

THWACK! Flapflapflap THWACK! Flapflapflap

There's another grackle trying to get out of the garage.

Grackles, in case you didn't know, are large birds that appear to be all black from a distance but up close they're iridescent, with colors like blue, purple and green. They're all over the eastern two thirds of the US and up into a good deal of Canada. Sorry, my source is the National Audubon Society's Field Guide to North American Birds, so I don't know where else you'll find 'em. If you really want to know, I suppose you could go to Ask Jeeves.

I have no idea how these birds get into the garage. At first I thought maybe they got in while the door was open but we haven't had the garage door open very much lately (winter in the Midwest, go figure) and besides, I think I'd notice a huge dark bird flying in while I was hauling out the garbage. I know I'm a little slow in the morning, but even brain dead me would notice that. Even without my contacts.

Then I thought maybe they had gotten in somehow and built a nest and that's why I kept hearing them go "thwack". Well, that was fine the first year but this is our third year in this house! There goes that theory. The only thing I can think of is that there's a small gap in the roof or they get in through the attic fan vent and fly down the stairs and into the garage. I have no idea why they keep coming in though. You'd think that as soon as one grackle got back to the flock with a story about being sucked into a vent, repeatedly bashing into glass and having to be rescued by a human, the rest would stay away in droves. Apparently grackles aren't that smart.

I don't know what to do about those birds. I don't want to call an exterminator because they'd just kill the birds. I don't want them dead; I just want them to stop giving themselves concussions from flying into the garage door! I feel like I should have a bird version of George Clooney on stand by. "Doctor, we have another head case. No, not the nut who lives here."

In a weird way, it's nice to hear that familiar "thwack". You long-time readers here know I don't mean that I want the birds to be hurt; I'm a softie for any critter that passes by. No, it's just another sign of spring here at Wren's Landing and Pizzeria - the lilacs are budding, the daffodils are poking out of the ground and the grackles are bouncing off the garage door.

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