AWOL Geese

Hello, police? I'd like to file a missing goose report. Actually, make it a stolen goose report. I'm missing a flock of Canada geese. They're gone and I don't know where to find them. Hello? Hello?

Something's going on in the Back 40 here at the Wren Wildlife Preserve and Pizzeria. Last year and the year before, this place was up to its birdfeeders in Canada geese, even during the winter. But this year is different - I haven't seen one around here in ages. The flood water has been down for a couple months and I've been pretty regular about going down to the riverbank to feed the freeloaders; well, as regular as you can be 9 months pregnant and ready to nap at any given time.

The ducks are regulars though and their numbers are increasing. What's weird is that all the ducks are female, unless drakes do drag. I went down there this afternoon and there must have been 50 of them wandering around the beach and swimming just offshore. They must not like me or trust me yet because as soon as I started getting close, they all took off for the middle of the river. Or maybe they're just snooty because I buy shelled corn instead of cracked corn. Only I would end up with the Martha Stewarts of ducks.

I figured maybe the geese had flown South early or something, but the other day we were driving to the grocery store and right in front of the John Deere tractor factory down the road were a bunch of Canada geese! There's a huge green space there and the geese were wandering around, pecking at the ground. My geese are cheating on me with John Deere! Since I'm not a zillion dollar corporation, I guess I'm just not good enough anymore (sniff). Well fine, who needs 'em? The ducks still like me. Sort of.

Then again, maybe the new critters in the area scared 'em off. A couple weeks ago, Bud was looking out over the river and announced, "there's some chickens down by the water." It was entirely possible, since somebody down the road has chickens, but I figured he must be mistaken. I got the binoculars and spotted three large black birds with red heads. They looked like some chickens I saw on "Martha Stewart Living" once so I exclaimed, "hey, you're right! We've got chickens!"

Bud wanted to bring them up into the yard but I reminded him that we have five weenie dogs who would love to play Chase The Chicken. Being the soft headed (I mean hearted) ninny that I am, I loaded up a bucket of corn to feed the poor things. But by the time I got down to the riverbank, they were gone! I've seen "Chicken Run" so I knew they couldn't fly, but I hadn't seen them wander off into the tall grass either. I didn't feel like dragging the corn back up the hill, so I threw it around so they'd have something to eat when they came back.

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