Girls Night Out,Girls Night Out

At one time or another, every woman identifies with the Shania Twain song, "Man! I Feel Like A Woman", especially the part where she sings, "The girls need a break - tonight we're gonna take the chance to get out on the town." Sometimes we just need to get away from the house, the spouse and the kids or we run the risk of going bonkers. What I didn't realize until recently is that ducks are the same way.

During the flood, we had a lot of male ducks here on a daily basis but almost no females. Then when the water went down, the females came over, ducklings in tow. Now that the Mighty Mississippi is back in its banks (YAY!), the females are out in full force, no males or ducklings in sight. There must be two dozen of them lurking about lately, quacking among themselves, not unlike a bunch of overstressed women at a neighborhood bar. When I approach them with the bucket of corn they always quiet down like you do in a restaurant when the waitress comes over. They chow down on the cracked corn (either it's low-cal or they don't care) and go back to quacking. Sometimes I wonder what they're talking about...

"Gads, my webbed feet hurt."

"Donald didn't want me to go out tonight but I told him, I said 'they're YOUR ducklings too and you can just stay home one night with them'. Honestly."

"Did you hear about Helen? She's molting!"

"I'm just glad to finally be back in our nest. Those humans whine and moan about floods but they have FEMA to help out. Me, I'm stuck rebuilding that nest by myself. If Larry was working on it, he'd never get it done. He makes these grand plans and then gets sick of them halfway through."

"My sister saw Joyce get into some fermenting corn last week and I guess she was drunker than a skunk. Couldn't even swim in a straight line."

"Here comes that human with the corn. Is she EVER going to have that human duckling?"

"Honey, I heard they carry those things nine months."

"Nine months?? Boy am I glad I'm a duck. You couldn't pay me enough to carry a duckling for nine months."

The girls have been hanging out here at the house for about a week now, so maybe this place is considered a duck spa. Mudpacks are readily available - in fact, if you don't keep moving the mud will grab you and suck your shoes off. There's nothing but a few native bushes, so there's plenty of room for sunbathing and I'm pretty sure ducks don't need to worry about using the right SPF. They take lots of hikes up and down the beach and go for swims in the now calm backwater that runs behind the house.

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