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Somethin' Seasonal

© Granny Grumous, the Witch over at Wart's Nebbish

Hoo boy! That was some night last night, eh? I'm still pickin' bugs outta my teeth. By the way, Dismal Joyce is lookin' fer some witnesses as her insurance agent still ain't over his amphibious period.

Well, here we is, Samhain**. Th' dark half o' th' year commences and, as 'em farmers is gonna be bringin' on 'eir cattle, mind where ya step.

Don't ferget t' keep plenty o' turnips handy for makin' torches and such as plenty o' friendly spirits tend t' get lost. And forecasters is expectin' a heavy precipitation of nasty goblins and ghosts, so don't wander too far from th' tinley fire.

But enough o' this convivial, holiday chat. Let's take care o'some business.

Tired o' that unseen world bein' so, well, unseen? Try anointin' yer eyes with this infusion and see what you see. (Bet, when ya do, ya wish ya hadn't, wink, wink.)

1) Wash ordinary oil with specially prepared rose and marigold water until it, 'it' bein' th' oil, turns white.

2) In a vial, combine the oil with buds of hollyhock, marigold, thyme, hazel and grass gathered from a fairy hill.

and) Allow it to sit for 3 days, in th' sun o'course. 'at's all 'ere is to it. Anoint yer eyes with the oil and you'll be seein' fairies 'neath every toadstool and foxglove blossom in no time at all. (Don't try drinkin' this. It gives ya the gas.)

Nostradammit's Enthraller is havin' 'em a sale on the Flying Herbs, so now's th' time t' stock up on monkshood, henbane, deadly nightshade, mandrake, hemlock, foxglove and jimsonweed. (Don't use too much at a time or yer certain to get yerself a speedin' ticket.)

Speakin' o' henbane, the smoke does conjure up spirits o' th' dead, so if yer havin' a slow Samhain, ya might wanna keep this herb in mind.

To answer Agnes Gruel's query re:mandrake: Agnes, mandrake grows at th' foot o' gallows 'cause it is a livin' creature what has life breathed into it under th' earth of th' seed of a dead person put t' death fer murder. (Pant, pant. 'at were a mouthful.) And remember, it has t' be drawn from th' ground by a dog fer it'll kill any folks who tug on it.

Finally, we're still tryin' to get ol' Teeterin' Lilith Fugue from out o' th' magic circle she, herself, drew in th' sand.

As y'all know, a circle drawed in th' ground with a hazel stick will keep out fairies and demons and all evil things. Well, ol' Teeterin' Lil absently-mindedly pulled th' darn thing 'round her while havin' a smoke, makin' a nice little circle before she knew it.

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