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The Ethics of Love Spells

© Karen Mitchell

Browse any Wiccan message board or email list, and you'll see one very common theme: love spells. People are constantly asking for them, so therefore people are constantly debating the merits and faults of them. Many of us experienced Witches, such as myself, got our start in magic through a curiosity about love spells. Yes, even the ones who won't admit it!

Are love spells ethical? Some are, and some are not. A good way to tell is to try to compare the love spell to a real-life action. Take, for instance, love spells that are designed to make the caster feel more attractive, or more confident. I liken these to getting a makeover, haircut, or a sexy new outfit. These "confidence booster" spells are a good type to cast, especially if you have problems with your self-image.

My favorite ethical love spells are designed to help you find someone with a certain set of characteristics. This is how I found my fiancé. With this type, you're looking for a generic Mr. or Ms. Right using a laundry list of characteristics: funny, smart, kind to animals, an artist, etc. When I first met my fiancé, I found out that we had a lot of the same friends (in fact, we belonged to the same internet group), and that we had been going to the same local events for years, but we'd never noticed each other. Talk about a spell opening your eyes!

Going back to an earlier point, these ethical spells can all be related to benign actions in real-life... getting a makeover, being in the right place at the right time, etc. What other sorts of ethical love spells are out there? How about spells to help you be more sensitive to a partner's needs? Or a spell to help you over a bad breakup? Maybe you could benefit from a spell to help you have more constructive romantic relationships.

From here, we can get to my definition of an ethical love spell: A spell that does not negatively manipulate people so that you can win the object of your affection. Nor is it a spell where the method or end-result would be illegal if translated into real-life actions.

Let's break that down. The first part states "a spell that does not negatively manipulate people". Magic with no constructive purpose does not support the tenets of the Wiccan Rede (As long as it harms none, do what you will). This doesn't mean that magic must always be positive, but it must always have some constructive purpose. (Casting a spell to see that someone who molested your child gets justice may not be a positive spell, but it does have a constructive purpose.)

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