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Go West, Young Woman

© Bob Stenbaugh

My ex-girlfriend Kimmy claims she's seen three westerns in her life: Unforgiven, Dead Man, and Back to the Future Part III. I was going to make a snarky comment about how her favourite was the one featuring the former television star, but then I realized: all three feature former television stars. The little hampster generating my brain-power begins to work up a sweat. What, if anything, can be learned by investigating these seemingly unrelated works of art? Has Kimmy the right to call herself an admirer of the genre? Let us discuss.

First, Unforgiven. Here we have a fine example of the Oscar phenomenon, in which all of humanity must sit through "the best picture" whether they want to or not. Kimmy never had time for Rawhide, but she made time for Unforgiven.

If there was ever an anti-chick-flick, this just might be it. Until Bridges of Madison County it was thought by many that Clint Eastwood had never met a woman, and in Unforgiven he manages to repress his feminine side even further. In the famous scene at the end of the film Clint is given the opportunity to do the right thing, and of course, he does the exact opposite. It's sort of the equivalent of Sandra Bullock getting Dermot Mulroney in the sack and then refusing to stick around for cuddles.

If you asked Kimmy today she'd probably tell you that Unforgiven was too violent, and she might have a point. It's a tough way to lose your western-virginity, but give her credit--she stuck it out.

Next, Dead Man, Jim Jarmusch's mystical journey into the black and white western. Kimmy was initially reluctant to attend this film until I informed her that Johnny Depp was the star. Fascinating, the pain one will endure to stare at a pretty face. Depp, star of Fox's immortal 21 Jump Street, is the most difficult of all pretty faces to follow. His choice of projects pleases independent producers a lot more than People Magazine, and has probably cost himself a lot of guest-spots on Hollywood Squares.

Aided immeasurably by the presence of Gary Farmer, Dead Man provided enough humour to keep Kimmy pleased and her faith in the western was reborn. The scene with Billy Bob Thornton and Iggy Pop gained a permanent spot in our "inside-joke" rotation: "Burns like a hell-fire!!!"

And finally, with the rental of Back to the Future Part III, a true western fan was born. Alex P. Keaton has to head back to the ol' west to find Doc, or save Doc, or save himself...who knows, the plot never mattered anyway. Say what you want about post-Leone westerns, this just might be one of the best. Pure entertainment--just ask Leonard Maltin. Or Kimmy.

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