I Wonder if GroundHogs Ever Get Colds?


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Can you imagine? The Hog has been sleeping for what, three months, and up it wakes (for whatever reason...hormones sending it off to seek a mate, or the pressing need to take a leak, but NOT in ORDER to go LOOK for its shadow, I assure you) only to find its little marmot-nose all stuffed, its eyes all squinchy, its throat all sore and first SOUND it makes is somewhere between Billy Crystal's grandfather and a barking Prairie Dog! Poor thing. It's probably been 'breathing' with its MOUTH open and there's not a tissue in the whole burrow. OH, NOT a pretty sight. Right. Going out to look for a mate like THIS. Don't THINK so. In THIS state, I seriously doubt it would notice if its own shadow walked up and BIT it.....I would HATE to imagine this scene awaiting the most celebrated of all Prognosticating Hogs, the famous Punxutawney Phil who is MOST unceremoniously GRABBED and DRAGGED out of his burrow and WAVED about for the cameras. Oh man, I'd sneeze all OVER that guy in the top hat.

They SAY that if you do NOTHING for a Classic Common Cold, it will last a week. They SAY that if you TAKE medicine for the cold, it will last for seven days. There ARE a bunch of folks walking around who insist that if you take SYMPTOM SQUELCHERS and just dry the whole thing up, who CARES how long it lasts, as long as you don't have to FEEL it. I remember taking one of those "I HAVE to get through today" Over The Counter symptom squelchers ONCE, and I remember feeling like I'd had a truly BAD face lift.... from the inside. No THANK you.

Most herbal medicine is aimed at PREVENTING the 'Common Cold' and if the victim NOTICES said cold sneaking around the corner EARLY enough, it's really quite effective. But SOMEtimes, you just haven't got a prayer. For two years I proudly slogged through winters without so much as a sniffle. The year before was a lesson in Bronchitis I don't EVER want to repeat, and most likely I won't, as that bout with Bronchitis introduced me to the wonders of Cayenne tincture. Yee hah, WAKE up those lungs! And I've been tossing between 7-10 drops in the mornin' cup ever since. HOWEVER......a few days ago I was a sorry sight, staring bleary-eyed at my computer screen having created Napalm-strength coffee with a full FIFTEEN drops of Cayenne in there and I couldn't even take the EDGE off. Yeah, sometimes you just don't have a prayer.

The copyright of the article I Wonder if GroundHogs Ever Get Colds? in Weeds & Wild Plants is owned by Barbara Hall. Permission to republish I Wonder if GroundHogs Ever Get Colds? in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

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