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Through WEED COLORED glasses

© Barbara Hall

I've always maintained that One Friend's WEED is Another Friend's WONDER in a way that has had me charging around trying to CONVINCE people that weeds are USEFUL. This approach is rather wasted on all but the hearty souls who really ARE willing to go out there and tincture the Cleavers or make breast massage oil out of Dandelion flowers, or pickle Burdock leaf strips in vinegar to have against a broken toe in the dead of winter.

This month's article is for the REST of you. I want to know who these PLANT POLICE are who have you all so convinced that only straight blade-shaped plants are permissible around your houses. No round leaves! We won't STAND for that!!!! They must be eradicated, annhiliated, DESTROYED!! oh please.

Of the zillions of Email haha forwards that WASH over my computer screen, one of the all time most hilarious was "St. Francis and the Suburbanites" which I have been hunting for in all the corners where I STASH odd Emails to no avail at the moment. What made it so brilliant was that 'God' is asking St. Francis to explain in completely literal terms what's up with the suburbanites and these green squares of lawns when he already gave them such wondrous Wildflower Meadows. When 'God' hears of all the work that goes into growing and CUTTING the grass all the time, he assumes that the suburbanites MUST be grateful when the summer heat comes and the lawns go dormant and don't need so much cutting. "No," says St Francis "Actually they spend money on WATERING them so they WILL continue growing...and they continue CUTTING them". If I DO manage to locate it, I'll pop it into the discussion, it's a gem...... My own article on lawns and grasses presents a pretty similar view.

But back to these Plant Police who decide that Plantain is NOT what you want to see in your lawn. Says who? There is SO much Plantain in the lawn where I live, that to me it's just peas among the carrots! There are straight skinny blades and there are round leathery leaves and those two textures make up my lawn. I'm not having a big problem with it. OK, so it looks a trifle scalped when Junior comes roaring around with that MOWER, but until they grow back, I just go look at something else.