Stop your tears, break out the champagne...Bishop Cooper is here to wash away your worries. That's right, this is no little priest or monsignor, this is a bishop who thinks anything you want is "OK." How does a bishop help my situation, you might ask? And well you should. That measly priest couldn't marry you only weeks after your divorce, but a bishop can grant dispensation. In fact, the Bishop can get your annulment processed in only seven days. That's right, no ridiculous filling out of forms and reasoning with the church. Remember, Bishop Cooper will get your dispensation because anything you want is "OK."
Oh no, the tears again, please tell me these are tears of happiness and joy? Why no, you don't have to travel to California! With one simple call to the helpful Bishop, you can access a priest or bishop anywhere in America that's as sympathetic to your plight as Bishop Cooper. Bishop Cooper wants to make sure that no one impedes your happiness, and he's willing to find the religious that can validate your feelings when no one else will.
Please call now, it's a 1-800 number in California.
Small print to follow: Bishop Cooper reminds you that once ordained in the Roman Catholic Church, succession is always valid and the church can't take away any orders - even after excommunication. Really! They can't strip a bishop of everything; it just isn't fair. Bishop Cooper is perfectly valid and you have no right to say otherwise.
The Bishop has left the building.
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