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Marriage as a Compromise - Differences with Parents

© Jessica Cuba

Marriage is a compromise; often your biggest practice will come while planning the wedding. Most women have visions of their perfect wedding from the time they are children. As society marries at an older age, men are often forming their own imaginary weddings as well. If they have not, it’s almost certain someone in their family has taken care of the imagining for them.

Realizing that there is give and take in planning a wedding is the first step. The next is knowing who should give and take.

Is the difference between you and your parents? I have talked with many couples that picture their own wedding to be a non-traditional affair – outdoors, renaissance themed, at their favorite resort… Many of these couple’s parents are the ones footing the bill – and the parent are dreaming of a more sedate wedding that they can feel comfortable inviting business partners to.

The easiest way to take care of this problem is to realize that although it is your wedding, it is your parent’s money. Bring your ideas as close to traditional as you can if you are not helping in the costs. Where is the compromise in this? Your own ideas can be planned as a private ceremony or a future celebration. For a private ceremony, invite only your closest friends and relatives to keep costs low. For a future ceremony, you can save and plan for a special anniversary that creates the wedding day of our dreams.

Next month, I will discuss handling differences with your future spouse in planning a wedding.

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