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The Ring(s)

© Jessica Cuba

Conventional wisdom orders a diamond solitaire with a simple gold band — the man's ring is optional. Tiffany's claims that the average spent on a ring is $8,000. Commercials tell us that two months salary is the standard for an engagement ring. It's nice to have guidelines when you are unsure. However, you also need to remember that this is YOUR wedding and YOUR decisions!

The average age for couples getting married rises almost every year. People have more of a sense of self when they take the plunge — they have their own friends, tastes, maybe even homes. The romantic dream of a suitor dropping to one knee has often been replaced by a couple discussing their future together (not that I think we should toss this out the window completely). What does this have to do with diamonds? You now have the option of talking through the engagement — and the engagement ring — before it happens.

Personally, I have always liked colored stones. It also seems to me that as soon as someone sees a solitaire, the first question is "how many carats?" I wanted a simple, beautiful ring — and instead of hints and innuendo — I told my significant other soon after we started talking about marriage. I also told him that I fully expected to receive that ring in a proper proposal. That's the only way to get what you truly want — be vocal. He took many side trips to jewelers big and small searching for the right ring. On the way, he learned what each stone meant, and how they held up to daily wear.

If you do choose an engagement ring that is not standard issue you may run into one problem — finding an accompanying wedding band. The new trend seems to be bands that encircle the engagement ring or at least matching bands. We thought we had solved this; I planned on switching my engagement ring to my right hand before (and after) the wedding. We didn't count on the majority of rings coming as a set. Solution? We bought two men's rings and had mine sized down.

I honestly do not know or care how much my ring cost. This helps with meddling friends and strangers as well. Find something that is special to you. You're the one who will be wearing this for the rest of your life!