He Ain't Ugly - He's my Gargoyle
When gargoyles first came onto the market, it was considered quite chic to casually tuck one away in the garden. The copies created by places like Design Toscano were quite good, and one could use them with the confident idea that they would be thought "artistic."
Then gargoyles started showing up in K-mart. The original gargoyle-users started growing ivy over theirs, not wanting to be thought part of the common fad.
That's when I bought not one, but two gargoyles. These were ok. They weren't even copies of the gargoyles of Notre Dame. They were Celtic gargoyles. No one I know has Celtic gargoyles. So I display them in my yard, flanking the entrance to the secret garden, in the dubious hope that I will be thought artistic.
Having come perilously close to winning last year's Tacky Yard Art contest, I bought my ornaments carefully this year. I wanted to make sure that this year I wouldn't even be in the running. I've also spent a great deal of time trying to discover what the line is between is yard art, and "tacky" yard art.
Know what? I haven't found a definitive answer yet.
Oh, you would seem to be perfectly safe if you buy something that is subdued and natural in color and material, well made, and atrociously expensive. Bronzes are a good choice, especially antique ones. So is carved stone, or marble, especially if signed by the artist. People may not share your taste in art, but at least you don't need to fear the covert looks, the quickly averted eyes, the whispered remarks and finally the studied silences that let you know that you have been tried and found wanting by the Yard Art Police.
Or if you are found wanting, it will only be because you are being ostentatious - which is most certainly tacky.
Most of us can't afford ostentatious. And ostentatious can look pretty strange when sitting in front of a little Cape Cod. There is a ranch-style house a few miles down the road from me that has copies of two nicely made life-sized Roman gods standing on the front lawn flanking a gigantic three-tiered fountain. Most people think it is an Italian restaurant.
No - even "good" art isn't safe from being found tacky.
There is, however, another approach, quite affordable and a lot more fun. The Yard Art police may come sniffing, but you will probably be acquitted of bad taste charges if you simply use your yard art with an attitude.
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