Can This Garden/Marriage Be Saved?
The lawn versus garden controversy can be a bit trickier. I know of one woman who sneaks out when her husband is gone and widens each flowerbed, a few inches at a time, hoping that he won't notice the shrinking lawn. My own solution is somewhat similar -- I lay out my beds so that the areas surrounding them can be mowed -- with some difficulty. After a summer of trying to maneuver the lawn tractor through my mini-jungle, my husband is usually quite happy with my suggestion that we just enlarge the flower bed so he won't have to be bothered.
But we have a lot of lawn, and so he can easily afford to give up a few square feet. If you have a small yard, then you need to do some thinking here. First, think about how you use that yard. Do you have kids who need a place to run around playing catch? A mosaic of lower beds will make their life miserable -- and yours as well. So let him have his boring old lawn until the kids are grown.
And if the spouse is opposed to much gardening at all? If he or she glares at you every time you come home with a new plant, looking meaningfully at the bank statement, or the kids shabby shoes? You have your work cut out for you. But even this is not insurmountable.
I am careful to call attention to every free plant I get -- whether I get it from dividing existing ones or trading, taking someone else's divison, or from rooting a donated cutting. While my husband has seen me struggling up the driveway with a wagonload of nursery pots, he manages to maintain the delusion that I get most of my plants for nothing.
I turned my non-gardening partner into one who at least tolerates my nursery sprees by bringing him along on rare occasions. Almost inevitably, he sees some plant that knocks his socks off. I let him buy it and figure out some way to work it into the garden. It becomes "his" plant. He appreciates reports on its welfare. And he understands that I need that artemesia or Japanese iris to help integrate "his" plant into the garden scheme.
I also leave the very best garden catalogs with the most beautiful pictures next to the toilet. You always need reading material near a toilet,
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