Gardeners and Non-Gardeners


© Carol Wallace

I sometimes marvel (in hindsight) at the way I panic when "real gardeners" say they are coming to see my garden. I race about, tidying, pulling weeds, rearranging, and wondering if I should just nip on down to the nursery for something exciting to fill that bare spot. I can't help but assume that they will compare my garden (probably unfavorably) with their own, or with their private notion of what makes a good garden.

This is, of course, pure paranoia. Unless a garden is choked almost to the dying point with weeds, or dominated by a threatening plant like purple loosestrife, or has somehow managed to produce a cacophony of clashing colors, there is no one more forgiving than a gardener. Where I, in my anxiety, see a bare spot as a design failure, the visiting gardener probably sees potential — if they notice it at all in their own anxiousness to beg a cutting of that plant in back of it that they don't have yet.

It's the non-gardener you have to beware of. I know. I'm married to one. I see a native plant garden; he sees a weed patch. I see cherry blossoms and he sees scattered petals needing to be raked. Where I see a subtle but intriguing combination of foliage and texture, he sees a boring patch of dirt with no flowers. It can be hard to tell that we live in the same garden.

When I finished planting our own first garden, with all the plants spaced properly to allow for future growth, I could, with a mental squint, imagine future splendor. He looked and could only say "Gee, it looks kind of bare." He swore he was too old to wait for things to grow; "If we must plant, can't they be mature plants?" The sheer pleasure of watching potential grow into a beautiful reality escaped him.

One difference may be that non-gardeners look at the whole area; gardeners tend to zero in on specific plants to admire. If we were art critics, he would be the one standing back and peering at total composition and criticizing the frame. On the other hand I am the critic who peers closely, admiring the way all the little dots in combination work to create an effect. I can get lost in a small portion of that picture, mentally editing each section before I eventually move on.

This leads to problems. While I am stuck in my little area of the canvas, happily contemplating the effect of golden hakonechloa against velvety purple heuchera, he is staring at the area behind me, littered with pots, tools and watering implements. He wants a total, perfect picture to admire. So he puts the hose in the barn somewhere and takes my watering can to the basement. They interfere with his view. No matter that we are in a drought, and that the basement is a couple of acres and a flight of steps away from the things that need watering. He promises me an irrigation system — next summer.

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Here's the follow-up discussion on this article: View all related messages

13.   Nov 5, 1997 11:42 AM
Non Gardeners may not be Gardeners, but at least Gardeners are not true "addicts" like these poor folks! Barbara Martin, ...

-- posted by Cottage_Garden


12.   Nov 5, 1997 9:23 AM
We always have our end of the day moments in the garden. At first by accident and now by design I planted night-scented flowers near our favorite sitting areas. In the evening when dusk starts to fal ...

-- posted by CarolWallace


11.   Nov 3, 1997 1:28 AM
Dear Carol,

With our two gardens, it would be impossible to not have Kees' interest. I'm the bossy one, deciding what goes where and what to cut and snip and alter the shape of and Kees, bless him ...


-- posted by Gay_Klok


10.   Nov 2, 1997 12:24 AM
Well, Carol, as you know, I think Roger is coming along smartly on his way to true GP status. (And you can tell him I said so :-)) He's learned so much just in the past couple of years.

I've got a ...


-- posted by Marge_Talt


9.   Nov 1, 1997 2:58 PM
Ah, well Michael -- you can always talk about plants with us! But never entered your alpine house??? I'd think she would at least be curious about what you do in there! Although come to think ...

-- posted by CarolWallace





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