True Confessions about Gardening Obsessions

I am willing to bet that there is not a gardener alive who doesn't have some kind of obsession or addiction. I've seen far too many jokes about 'Gardeners Anonymous' and 12 Step Programs for gardeners, and heard too many stories about near accidents caused when obsessed gardeners spotted a new nursery while traveling full speed down a highway. I'm not ready to join any 12 Step programs myself - but not because I have no obsessive gardening traits or addictions. It's just that I find them far too enjoyable to even contemplate giving up. And they make such great conversation when you meet up with another gardener, as you each try to top each other with "You think THAT'S bad???" So, in hopes of bringing other obsessives out of the woodwork, so that we can all wallow in our excesses together, I am hereby prepared to admit to several of my habits.

For starters, I feel absolutely naked without dirt under my fingernails. My husband, on seeing me with clean, white nails insisted that I was wearing someone else's hands. I can play around with the houseplants but until I am outside, my hands plunged to the elbows in dirt I don't feel like I'm gardening. And when I finally do have to come in, I feel better knowing that some of my beloved garden is still with me.

I get obsessed about pruning. Hand me a pair of pruning shears and send me out the door - you will probably have to send the dogs out to find me. Armed with a good pair of shears, everything becomes fair game. I find that I am unable to pass anything with twigs without stopping, studying it, peering into its depths for crossed branches or dead twigs. There is something so satisfying about cleaning up a tree or shrub, opening it up so that the air can circulate through it, shaping it into something beautiful that I find irresistible. Considering the number of trees on our property, I find that I have to leave the shears indoors most of the time. If I don't, it would take me DAYS to get past them first few shrubs and into the rest of the garden.

I'm obsessed with foliage that is variegated or colored something other than green. An ambition I have not yet quite realized is to create a garden where there is no green at all - just to see if anyone notices. Give me a choice between two plants - one with green leaves and one with purple and I don't hesitate. And don't even try to count the number of plants I have brought home because they had pale pink and cream mingled with green. Unfortunately, sometimes that pink is caused by drought stress, which means I end up with something sickly. But I can't help myself. Promise me pink foliage and I MUST have it.

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