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Gifts for Gardeners

© Carol Wallace

One of the best kept secrets in America is the answer to the perennial question: "What do gardeners really want for Christmas?" Year after year I look at those magazine articles titled "Gifts for Gardeners" and see lists of gazing balls, cute little animal or cherub sculptures and coffee table books about the stately gardens of England. These are gifts that appeal greatly to the giver.

Whether they appeal to the dedicated gardener is another matter. While we may say, "Oh, just get me something for the garden," this is only our false hope that you can read our innermost thoughts. We are afraid to tell you what we really want, because it sounds too absurd. But it's time to end the silence. So here's the scoop.

Real gardeners do not want gazing balls. Nor do we want books that create severe cases of climate envy as the usual round of British gardening books always do. What we want are beautiful gardens of our own, and the means to keep them up.

True confessions time. What I really want for Christmas is (shhhh. . .) a couple truckloads of aged manure. That's my most heartfelt desire. And I can go on.

Another truckload, this one of aged compost. A working greenhouse instead of the giant pit in my yard where a greenhouse is supposed to go. Catalogs from all the specialty plant growers around. Yes--just the catalog. I'd rather choose my own plants according to my passions. Gift certificates from those catalogs would be ok, though. So would one from the best local nursery.

My list would look pretty boring to a non-gardener. Most people would balk at saying: "Oh, Carol? I got her a beautiful truckload of horse manure." So let me reinforce this by quoting the secret desires of gardeners from all over the country. I took a poll on the over-1000 member Gardens & Gardening mailing list (listserv@lsv.uky.edu). Here's what they said.

"Rocks. I want nice flat rocks to edge my gardens." "A hand trowel that won't bend when I hit a tree root." "A bulb auger to speed up daffodil and tulip planting." "A kneeling pad." "Someone to come in for a few hours and dig the huge holes I need for planting those trees that have been sitting in pots since July." "Felco pruners--I'm too cheap to buy them for myself." " A little red wagon so I can haul stuff around the yard." And over and over again, "A truckload or two of compost and a truckload of aged manure."