The Impossible Dream: How Depressing!

"I wish . . . " is usually precursor to the expression of an impossible dream. Many such wishes are made during the November/December holidays: "I wish I could afford the _____ that ______ wants; I wish I could be with my _______ for the holidays; or, my personal favorite, "I wish so many people didn't expect so much from me."

Most of us, or perhaps all of us are guilty of dreaming that impossible dream but most of us are able to shrug and say "oh well, I'll just have to make the best of my situation," and then get on with our lives. That's perhaps true for most of us, but many in our number will allow that "impossible dream" to fester, to destroy their ability to function and perhaps cause them to commit an act that will destroy their lives or someone else's. Welcome to depression!

Suicide (or attempted suicide) is too often the result of deep depression and you've probably heard that there is a drastic rise in suicides during the time between Thanksgiving until just after the New Year -- the good news is, that's a myth -- an Urban Legend ¹! Even though there is usually more reason for depression during the months of November through January and stress levels are (in my experience) at their highest, there are usually fewer suicides during that Holiday season (or at least no more than average) than during any other season ². Why? Probably, because there are more interactions with family and friends -- more emotional support to diffuse the stress.

Depression, however, is an enemy worthy of our attention any time of year and it may result in self-destructive acts or lead to violent acts against others. According to Dr. M. Allan Cooperstein, in his article The Storms of Youth ³, this is especially true in the case of adolescent depression. "Adolescents," according to Dr. Cooperstein, "often "act out", obscuring depression with aggression, elopement, or antisocial acts." The real danger in this is "if these behavioral signs are considered by parents and professionals as natural to adolescence, the disorders go unrecognized and untreated." What we need to keep in mind is, many people, regardless of age, when depressed or stressed-out, revert to that adolescent, acting-out stage and sometimes even the people closest to that adult-adolescent will say: "Oh, that's just the way he/she is." While that's no doubt true, its no reason not to encourage him/her to get help. Mild depression is normal -- not so for deep, life-altering depression that may leads to a violent act. More good news, depression is treatable and, in many cases, curable.

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