St Thomas Aquinas in his book Summa Theologica (Of Thankfulness or Gratitude) (Benziger Bros. edition, 1947) discussed the six questions of thanksgiving. He ponders whether :” one (the receiver) ought to pay back more than one received.” According to this Christian theologist , the purpose of giving thanks is repayment (Ethic. 5,4) Thanksgiving , which belongs to gratitude, is an act of justice. Gratitude is not a special virtue, distinct from other virtues,”
”Gratitude regards the favor received according the intention of the benefactor; who seems be deserving of praise, chiefly for having conferred the favor gratis without being bound to do so. Wherefore the beneficiary is under a moral obligation to bestow something gratis in return. Now he does not seem to bestow something gratis, unless he exceeds the quantity of the favor received: because so long as he repays less or an equivalent, he would seem to do nothing gratis, but only to return what he has received. Therefore gratitude always inclines, as far as possible, to pay back something more”.
The Vietnamese culture considers thanksgiving as an integral part of a person ‘s virtue. Cam on is the Vietnamese term for “ Thank you “ and the first thing taught to the young children was how to say “Thank you”. Those who “an chao da bat” (After having eaten the soup, one should never kick away the bowl” are badly perceived because ingratitude is construed as one of the worst offences a Vietnamese can commit. The cult of the ancestors is another form of giving respect and gratitude to those who have departed. The respect that is given to the elders in Vietnam is another form of giving thanks and reverence to those who have gained life experience.
Eat the plum (given as a gift) but give back a peach A(n ma^.n tra? dda`o (= Return gift to gift)
The feeling of gratitude should be felt deeply and over a lifetime. Such feeling is so deep that it would be considered bad taste to open a gift when it was given in the presence of the giver. The reasoning being that it is not the material gift that counts but the relationship and the sentiment that accompany the gift which are far more important. What if the gift is not a good gift or if it costs little, would that not embarrass the giver? Regardless of what the gift is, the acknowledgement should be the same; So the value of the gift is not that important, it is the thought that counts.
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