Vietnamese are never lonely; their lives are almost always intertwined with those of their family members that include grandparents, parents, brothers and sisters, uncles and aunts, first and second and third cousins.
Usually members of the same family live, work, spend time together as a group called the extended family. The welfare of this large family unit is always more important than the interests of any individual member.
Each member has the duties and the obligations to the others. The father has to take care of the whole family, namely the wife and his children; the wife must show respect to her husband, the older brother has obligations to his younger brothers and sisters, who, in turn, must obey the older brother. Children must take care of their aging parents and must look after one another. In times of crises, family members help one another and at times, must make personal sacrifices for the good of the family unit.
Group decisions are made for the interests of all members of the family, so, individuals must always take into consideration how their actions or behaviors would affect the whole family unit.
There is a Vietnamese proverb that states: “Con lam quan, ba lang duoc huong”
(If you succeed in becoming a mandarin, all your relatives would benefit from this success.)
Vietnamese revere their departed ancestors. They believe that those souls will never be destroyed and their ancestors will continue to watch over them; so, unless they give due respect to the dead, through the offering of foods and paper money, during the special family events, such as births, weddings, funerals, anniversaries etc... their lives will be unfavorably influenced.
In venerating their ancestors, they will also insure that their own souls will be properly nourished after they themselves die. And it will be then the turn of their children to take care of those duties.
The cult of the ancestors is usually carried out in the ancestral home , by the oldest son of direct descent.
On the anniversary of the ancestor’s death, everyone in the family is expected to be present. Through the family sacrificial offerings, the ancestors are also kept informed of any events of the family.
Most of the times, this group includes three to four generations, comprising of grandparents, parents, children and grandchildren. It is not uncommon to see all of them living together as one household, the head of which is the senior male. All members have to contribute to the income of that household.
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