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Vietnam: Concept of Self and the Training in Self-Control.

© lana lebozec

Self- concept is the way in which a person sees oneself ; either through one's own eyes or how one perceives to be viewed by others. It can also reveal a person's self ideals and aspirations.

Carl Rogers, an influential American psychologist, pioneered the client-centered therapy and stressed the importance of self-concept. The self-concept of a healthy person is consistent with his or her thoughts , experiences and behavior. A strong self-concept allows a person to deal with life’s challenges in a positive way , allowing the person to grow without feeling threatened or alienated.

Vietnamese on the other hand see themselves as a part of a social structure. The concept of self is tied in with the group. One speaks almost of a family identity or a corporate identity. Rare are the instances which allow for self expressions.

A Vietnamese child was taught not to think of self, this would be selfish. The notion of self-sacrifice or self-denial is consistent with the teachings in Confucianism and Buddhism. A person is a member of a group and the idea of self-assertion will cause a conflict with other people’s self-identities. The idea is to strive towards living in harmony with others in society.

To attain this harmony the self must behave in congruence with the external environment. To that purpose, a Vietnamese child is trained from very young , to practice self-discipline in many different ways .

I will only write about one of the simple ways to practice self-discipline. Parents usually train their children to exert self-control and practice self-discipline through the assignment of homework.

I still remember how my father used to give me homework assignments every day before he left for work . This was in addition to the homework from school .

In summer , it was even worse, for we had only about three months to complete the program of the next nine school months. Here in the United States, it would be insane for parents to suggest to their children to get all the books for the next school year and to try to complete the next grade level during the three summer months.

I was appalled when my children responded to me : “This is summer, Mom“ when I asked them to do so many chapters in English or Maths during their vacations . Summer for us, growing up, was the time to study on you own all the school books of the next grade level in order to prepare for the school year starting in September. I still remember every year when I was in High School, usually in May or June, we would go and get all the books from the book stores and for the three months of summer, we tried to get a head start and read and do all the problems in the books. When September came around, with the help of my father, I usually finished about two thirds of the books for the next grade level .

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