Vietnam : The Duties of Children in a Vietnamese Family

Vietnamese parents look upon their children as blessings. Children are indeed a source of joy and happiness to their parents but they are also quite profitable; they are the sure ticket to security when the parents get old.

Vietnamese parents expect their children to take care of them when they get old , children help them assure lineage, Children are also great sources of help when the parents can no longer work Since there is no social security or retirement funds, it is usually the children who assume that burden as well.

The Vietnamese proverb of : Co’ con nho?` con , co’ cu?a nho?` cu?a”

is a common saying meaning if you have wealth , you depend on your wealth for help in case of need , if you have children , you depend on your children for help in case of need.

The Vietnamese parents depend on their children to supplement the family income when there is not enough money to maintain a living. Numerous cases of children being put to work in order to get the necessary income to carry the burden of the family can be recorded. This burden falls heavily upon the shoulders of the first son , especially when the father dies or leaves his family.

It is not surprising that whatever the children earn, they are expected to hand over their income to their parents. The parents then decide how much they keep and how much they will give back to the children. We are not even talking about teenagers , many times we are talking about adults who live all their lives with their aging parents. Living apart from the parents is unacceptable.

One wonders about the level of independence and maturity of those adults who are constantly under the control of their parents

The Vietnamese family is usually very large. Usually the older children should take care of the younger ones. Encrypted in their brain from very young is the duty of piety to the parents , the following proverb is inculcated into the children’s brain from very young:

Uo^’ng nu?o?’c nho?’ nguo^`n,

La`m con pha?i hie^’u,

Co^ng Cha nhu? nu’i Tha’i So?n.

Nghi~a Me. nhu? nu?o?’c trong nguo^`n cha?y ra

Mo^.t lo`ng tho?` Me. ki’nh Cha

Cho tro`n chu? Hie^’u Mo?’i la` dda.o con”

(Translation:

When you drink water, you need to remember the source of this water.

When you are a child, you need to show Piety to your parents

Your father's efforts to raise you are like the mountains of Thai Son

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