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He says he'll take my kids!

© Laura Wilkinson

I know I promised another article on specific tactics, and I will post one. This article is an extra, because I have been hearing from SO MANY people who have this concern. I want to set something straight about abusers and their BS!

I know that as soon as we start talking about leaving, the abuser immediately says, "fine go but I'll take your kids because you are such a BAD MOMMY." He says he'll take you to court and since he has all the money, he'll get the kids. His family has "connections" so he'll get the kids. He is the one with the job, so he'll get the kids. He can get his sister to lie for him, so he'll get the kids. He has a crack lawyer so HE WILL GET THE KIDS. I have heard them all...and let me tell you, this is just another scare tactic.

Think about it: who has been taking care of your kids since day one? Who gets them up, gets them dressed, and gets them off to school? Who feeds them? Who cleans up after them, changes their diapers? Who does their laundry? Who helps them with their homework? Who kisses the booboos?

Is it HIM? No, it is NOT. I don't know the specific laws in each state, but I can tell you generally speaking, no judge in his right mind is going to take those children from the one person whom they KNOW they CAN rely on to be there for them, in the midst of all this insanity. The father of those children has to be able to PROVE that you are incapable of taking care of the kids.. and it has nothing to do with who has the job - that is why HE has to pay child support and in some states, alimony or maintenance. He has to be able to PROVE that you are neglectful, engaging in child abuse, abusing alcohol or drugs, things like that...and since you know you aren't, then there should be no problem. He has to have medical documentation, or reports from state agencies or SOMETHING...and he doesn't. And FURTHERMORE, if you are taking some kind of anti-depressants (probably because if him anyway) or medication to treat a diagnosed disorder (bipolar, for example) THAT IS NOT DRUG ABUSE. That is taking care of yourself.. so you can take care of those kids!

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